What The World Needs Less Of: Part 2

I’ve gotten word that certain people (with undoubtedly impeccable taste) out there are clamouring for a site update. I’ve even gotten angry emails telling me to do so! Wait… I wrote those myself.

Anyway, as a result of demand, I will try to update more often. However, please note this creed of mine: quantity shall never take precedence over quality. Which means to say if I feel my ‘work’ isn’t up to snuff, there shan’t be a post. Unless copious amounts of money (or cute girls) are thrown my way, then that creed can go to hell and burn for eternity!

So here’s the second installment of things the world would be better off without:

‘Stuffs’

Look, I have nothing against bad English (not the 80’s group) at all. I not bluffing one. The internet is rife with words like ‘l337’ and ‘my bad’ is now a catchphrase. But the use of ‘stuffs’ violates the English language like nothing before it. By definition, ‘stuff’ is unquantifiable, which means there is NO plural. “wah lanz wat tokking u” is a veritable Shakespearen couplet when compared to “Check out my stuffs!”.

Maroon 5

Ok Maroon 5, I get it! Your brand of funky, shite pop has topped charts all over the world where musical taste is non-existent. But that doesn’t mean I have to listen to ‘This Love’ 5000 times a day or your singer’s annoyingly nasal, Sesame Street voice and his start-stop delivery which makes me feel like I’m standing in a bus that’s stuck in a traffic jam. Every time I go to a record store, some bespectacled shop assistant will ‘test’ it for one of his clueless customers. What, hearing it every other time on the radio isn’t enough?

Lounge Music

A loose term that also includes bossa nova, this applies to the current trend of lounge artistes crooning from yuppie car stereos everywhere. Jamie Cullum, Michael Bublé et al. Would you have even heard of them if Norah Jones didn’t win those Grammys? Their fans are comprised of 2 groups; yuppies with no musical knowledge trying very hard to seem cultured and sophisticated, and old people who are trying to relive their youth by listening to these artistes. I have no beef with any of these artistes, I just hate the pretentious pricks who buy their music.

Ok that’s all for today. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go hide my copy of 'Come Away With Me' before anyone finds out. Aw crap, too late.