Idol Banter

There has been some hoo-ha regarding our local version of American Idol, and I feel it's my civic duty to comment on the situation and bring a much-needed voice of reason to the whole thing.

Let's get past the fact that the whole thing blows. Badly. I mean, it blows like a frickin' porn star hopped-up on speed.

Some people feel that the judges are mean and are trying (unsuccessfully) to emulate the witty put-downs of Simon Cowell.

They're right, but that's not the point.

A lady had this to say in a letter to a local paper, " The fact that the judges are celebrities means that the young see them as role models, whether they like it or not..."

Let me get this straight. Those dorks, those poor excuses for local 'celebrities' are role models? Jesus Christ! I thought role models normally refer to famous people that kids want to emulate? How many kids today know who Douglas O is? Thought so.

Assuming that they are, in fact, 'role models', the following scene must play out in local primary schools all the time:

Teacher: "So class, why don't you take turns and tell us who you'd like to be when you grow up?"

Schoolboy 1: "I want to be like David Beckham, he's handsome and good at football (sometimes)!"

Schoolboy 2: "Me? I want to be just like Justin Timberlake, he sings and dances so well!"

Schoolboy 3: "Teacher, if I can, I want to be the next Brad Pitt, he's soooo cool!"
Teacher: "How about you, Schoolboy 4?"

Schoolboy 4: "I want to be the next Dick Lee! Fried rice, paradise!" *breaks into a jig*

Teacher: "Why don't we allow handguns in our schools?"

My point, and I do have one, is that just because some pricks appear on television does NOT automatically make them role models. It makes them pricks on TV. That's all. No one is going to idolise that sad bunch of never-weres and follow their footsteps into the laughable realm of 'local entertainment', so let them pretend to be witty and sarcastic and continue to make asses of themselves.

Now, for some fried rice...