What The World Needs Less Of: Part 1

I’m sure everyone agrees that the world is full of annoying things. Utilising advanced scientific calculations, I have devised a theory: for every 1 thing that brings happiness, pleasure and fulfillment, there are at least 10 things that make you so annoyed you feel like punching the person next to you. Disclaimer: the above theory is a product of the author’s own fevered imagination and has not been proven scientifically. Yet.

Here are some things that currently annoy the hell out of me:

Local Television Programming (only pertaining to locally-made programmes)

The realm of local free-to-air programming is rife with shit. I’m sure there are special goggles out there that enable the wearer to view TV signals, and if you use it when looking at Caldecott, you’d probably see a fountain of diarrhoea spewing from its broadcasting antennae. As for radio, just because I can’t see you doesn’t mean I don’t hate you too. Stay tuned for an elaboration on this topic.

Yuppie-Centric Advertising

You’ve seen it before. Whether it’s an ad for credit cards, mobile phone plans or even air conditioning, it’s always the same thing. A young Chinese or Pan-Asian couple (male is clean cut wearing khaki pants, female is attractive with long black hair) golfing at a country club or lounging around in some expensive condominium which somehow just seems… white… in colour. Pseudo-American accents are optional (but recommended).

Local Forum Whiners

I’m talking about those ultra-conservative douchebags who write in to local papers whining about the how the young are so hedonistic (partly true), or how this particular television show has offended them with its anarchistic ‘western’ points-of-view. Case in point: some guy wrote in saying HBO’s already heavily-censored Sex And The City was a bad influence etc. This same guy probably has 20+ gigs of hardcore porn residing on his hard drive.

Their whining has resulted in some pleasant surprises though, recently some radio DJs got their asses fired or suspended due to risqué comments on air. Why stop there? Fire all of them and just air silence! Infinitely more entertaining.

Ok, that’s all for now. There’s an abundance of annoying things out there, so be sure to chime in with what gets your goat!