iNcredible iDiocy

Having witnessed the recent furore over the iPod nano, I’ve realised something about the average consumer. It’s hard to put my finger on it, but I’ve encapsulated my feelings into this: they’re fucking idiots!

I’ll be the first to admit the device is sexy. It’s so sleek and pretty, if it were a girl, I’d probably have been rejected by her by now. But don’t you realise the nano is basically what the Shuffle should have been? You know the shuffle, the MP3 player that didn’t even have a goddamn SCREEN? I was aghast at how they managed to turn an incredibly obvious flaw into a marketing advantage.

The worst part about it? It worked. Mindless sheep, all lulled by Steve Job’s seductive siren’s call, bought it in droves. “But… but… it’s so easy to use!” they’d say. What’s wrong moron, get confused by a monochrome screen telling you which song is playing?

So now the same thing is happening to the nano. People on my MSN contact list are already changing their nicknames to “iPod nano! Ooooh I want one!” or something equally stupid. So to finish off this rant, I’ll offer the good folks at Apple this great idea that would make a handsome addition to their iPod product line.

iPlug
Being a mere novice in the world of S&M, I’m not really sure what buttplugs are for, but they can’t be good (which means they are good). Anyway, Apple can now make iPlugs, little white plugs that fit snugly in anyone’s cornhole.

The best part about it? It’s so easy to use.

New improved formula! Now with more crap.

Howdy folks. If you haven’t noticed, there has been a little revamp at this oft-neglected repository of BS. For starters, I have a graphic at the top depicting a squirrel and some flying… hands. Yes, that squirrel is none other than yours truly but don’t let it fool you, I look nothing like that in person (my tail is bushier).

But before I am tempted to take credit for that piece of… art, I will give respect where it’s due. Adrian from up north did it after much procrastinating and pestering. I also have to thank Su-Yin for taking time off from convalescing to make the changes. I’ve done away with the comatose tag-board and shifted stuff to the right. I will be adding all the coolest and hippest blogs I know to my links in due time. If you have any feedback feel free to email.

Till I have some more crap to share, peace out.

P.S. Even if you’re not hip, just pay me a nominal fee and I’ll link you. I’m cheap like that.